Equalizing

This is a reaction piece I wrote two weeks ago. I just wanted to get it out there, so let me know what you think and don't be shy. I really would love to hear some reactions.

[Last night] on TV something really amazing happened. This is not a sentence I ever thought I would lead with. Jessie Graff, a stuntwoman by trade, completed the first phase of the American Ninja Warrior finals course in Las Vegas. She was one of only 8 competitors to finish the course in its first week of competition. She was also the first woman to complete a stage at the Las Vegas finals. It was awesome.

            As empowering and amazing as her run was, though, the way it was celebrated could have been better. Everything was set up in just the right way, don’t get me wrong. She was the most anticipated competitor of the night, and thus ran “last”. The package that ran just prior to her run was spot on. She is an intelligent and well-spoken woman who also happens to be an elite athlete. She said in her package that she would finish the first stage, and also that when she was explaining her path to the Vegas finals to friends who were not familiar with the show and told them that she had finished fourth in her city finals to win her spot in the Vegas finals their response was, “’fourth for women?’, ‘No. Fourth overall’”.

            When I heard that comment, I realized that I should pay attention to the language that was being used in this package and also, how the commentators would respond to her run. What sort of language might they choose to use? It is a tough job to comment on the runs and interview the competitors as the action happens in a blink of an eye. So, the words they chose were going to be reactionary, words that society had helped pre-program in their brains. When Jessie finished the first stage in the 4th fastest time, everyone on the set was cheering her. I was throwing up my hands and jumping off the couch! It fantastic. But all of a sudden phrases like, “That was UN-believable” were being thrown around, by another woman, no less. I get it. I have definitely used that phrase to describe a crazy-cool positive event. But In that moment I realized that it wasn’t true. What Jessie did was totally believable, everyone was ready for it, and almost expected it. So, why were they using a negative to underscore something so positive and empowering, an event that really did show that women are awesome and focused and strong?

            There it was, the unscripted moment I was almost hoping wouldn’t happen but made me feel kind of conflicted when it did. The only thing I wanted to do was cheer that a crazy-strong woman was putting the boys in their place, showing that women can and will continue to excel in this, admittedly, fringe sport. But, as women are breaking the “glass ceiling” that society has place above their heads since, well, forever, in every sector they are still being cheered in a strangely negative manner. The words and phrases are commonplace in our culture, but maybe, just maybe if we used really, truly positive language we might start to feel a real shift in how our society views women, pays women for their work, and listens to them in the most high-powered settings. Because how we discuss a cultural quandary is actually important, especially if we want to change in appreciable and lasting ways.

            So, Jessie Graff did something really amazing! EVERYONE should and did cheer her. But what she did was 100% believable, and repeatable. Women are strong, and feminine and they are changing the game, one sparkly superhero outfit at a time. So, the world better get on board, because Jessie Graff and strong women everywhere are not going to settle for second place or “proportional” pay. We are going to demand our true equality and not settle for anything else. Use your words wisely, media.